Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu!
Day 7 was an interesting day, a day in which I had to overcome another component of a test that all reverts face. Its the test of telling relatives about ones decision to adopt Islam as their religion, their way of life. As mentioned before I already told my Mother and my Aunt; two of the three closest relatives to me. The last, I had to tell was my Grandmother. There were many reasons as to why I held off 5 months in telling her about my decision, many of which are the same justifications for why it was so hard telling my Mother. She has strong reservations against organized religion, has had negatives experiences with religious leaders, and like both me and my Mother, she has a strong personality and would not be shy of telling me every single opinion until her breath ceased her to continue talking.
However, I realized that the time had come for me to tell her. This weekend both my Mother and Grandmother will be coming up to help me move back onto residence. Since I would be fasting I knew I needed the time had come to tell her. Not to mention that fact that this month is the Holy Month of Ramadan, and what better time to tell her!
For the past two days before yesterday I was pining over the prospect of what consequences would occur after telling my Grandmother. To be honest, I was afraid to hear that she was disappointed in me. But every time that I made dua and dhikr assurance overcame me Alhumdulilah. Each utterance of salutations to Allah subhana wa ta'ala was increasing my strength. I knew the time was approaching, where I would be courageous enough to tell her.
Yesterday, was the time. She had reacted how I expected to act, and maybe a bit better than expected Alhumdulilah. Unfortunately, I don't think I was able to express myself the right way, simply because I felt that anything I would say would be criticized and attacked. And they were. "You're too young to make such a big decision." "You haven't experienced life." "You are putting yourself in a box." These were all statements that were thrown at me. However, I am thankful to Allah that these were the only things that were said. I know that some reverts have experienced far more worse experiences than I. But I understand her position. I just told her that I hope that overtime I can help her to better understand why I had chosen this path for myself. InshaAllah that will be the case.
To any converts or people who are thinking about coming into Islam and may be wondering how I managed to overcome my fear of telling my parents. My answer is this; we should not fear man, only our Creator. A brother told me these simple, but beautiful words, "If Allah brings you to it, Allah will bring you through it." How true. However, to any brothers or sisters who fear their lives through telling their parents, waiting for a better time where this threat is no longer present would be the best time to tell them. Until then, remain strong and make tons of duas and pray for Allah to make your situation easy. And remember this, the Companions of the Prophet (peace be upon him) were facing the same situation as you. And despite their hardships their situations were made easier, and they were rewarded for their commitment and dedication to Islam.
May Allah make the lives easier for those who fear backlash from their families for choosing Islam, and increase their strength and iman, Ameen.
- Aisha
