Sunday, August 29, 2010

Have not Forgotten!

Assalaamu alaikum,

Just wanted to drop a quick post to let whoever reads my blog know that I have not forgotten about it! I have been super busy with training that I am hardly able to get onto any social networking sites! Rest assured that everything is going well Alhumdulilah :)

I began a post to talk about the past few days, however I felt that I wasn't putting my words together the way that I wanted them. InshaAllah I will find a way soon, and it will come across well.

But I must allow my soul to return to Allah (subhana wa ta'la) inshaAllah I will be able to keep you updated.

Night and Good Morning/Afternoon brothers and sisters!

-Aisha

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Ramadan Days #10-14

Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakathu!

My apologies! I clearly have been neglecting my blog. I have been crazy busy these past few days. I just moved into residence on Sunday and have entered Res fellow or "Don" training for the next two weeks. This is my excuse for not posting up any entries. Again I apologize greatly!

Alhumdulilah, despite being busy things have been going very well. I am meeting new and interesting people and also met another Muslimah who is so sweet. I also was invited to go for iftar at a sister's home with two friends tomorrow which I am so excited for! I had met this particular sister the day I did my public shahadah and it was circumstantial that I ran into her this month. Alhumdulilah.

Yesterday, I also had a great iftar with two friends, one an old good friend and the other the girl mentioned above. MashaAllah they are two amazing people.

Fasting was a little difficult yesterday though. I got this weird feeling in my chest like it was about to explode! It was a feeling that came and went, but Praise and Thanks to Allah I felt better and didn't prevent me from keeping my fast.

InshaAllah I will be more deligent with my posts, but I will be busy in the next few days. I'm sure I will make an entry after iftar tomorrow (insha'Allah).

May Allah increase our Eeman for the rest of the month and continue to soften our hearts. May He allow us to grasp the deepest understanding of Ramadan and this beautiful deen, Ameen


Aisha

Friday, August 20, 2010

Ramadan Day # 8 & 9

Assalaamu alaikum,

Aoudu billahi minash shaytan al-rajeem. Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem.

You know I can't believe I just let two days go by without blogging. My apologies! I just realized that today would be day # 10. I think sisters can understand the reasoning for this. Now I must remember what happened or what thought-provoking epiphany has brought me to the current mental and spiritual state I am in.

Despite whatever has caused this slight, but seemingly important personal growth all that needs to be said is All Praise and Thanks is due to Allah.

Through discussions about life's abstract, yet essential and fundamental questions, the reading of an eye-opening book "What is the What," by Dave Eggers, a little leap of faith in sharing something new with someone new and most importantly the amount of dhikr and reflection of what it means to follow Islam my mind is in an elevated state. Sorry for the run-on sentence guys!

InshaAllah (God willing) I will remain in this state and will only get closer.

May Allah increase all of our Iman and be in a constant remembrance of Him so that we can reap the emotional and spiritual benefits of His grace,
Ameen.

- Aisha

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Ramadan Day # 7

Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu!

Day 7 was an interesting day, a day in which I had to overcome another component of a test that all reverts face. Its the test of telling relatives about ones decision to adopt Islam as their religion, their way of life. As mentioned before I already told my Mother and my Aunt; two of the three closest relatives to me. The last, I had to tell was my Grandmother. There were many reasons as to why I held off 5 months in telling her about my decision, many of which are the same justifications for why it was so hard telling my Mother. She has strong reservations against organized religion, has had negatives experiences with religious leaders, and like both me and my Mother, she has a strong personality and would not be shy of telling me every single opinion until her breath ceased her to continue talking.

However, I realized that the time had come for me to tell her. This weekend both my Mother and Grandmother will be coming up to help me move back onto residence. Since I would be fasting I knew I needed the time had come to tell her. Not to mention that fact that this month is the Holy Month of Ramadan, and what better time to tell her!

For the past two days before yesterday I was pining over the prospect of what consequences would occur after telling my Grandmother. To be honest, I was afraid to hear that she was disappointed in me. But every time that I made dua and dhikr assurance overcame me Alhumdulilah. Each utterance of salutations to Allah subhana wa ta'ala was increasing my strength. I knew the time was approaching, where I would be courageous enough to tell her.

Yesterday, was the time. She had reacted how I expected to act, and maybe a bit better than expected Alhumdulilah. Unfortunately, I don't think I was able to express myself the right way, simply because I felt that anything I would say would be criticized and attacked. And they were. "You're too young to make such a big decision." "You haven't experienced life." "You are putting yourself in a box." These were all statements that were thrown at me. However, I am thankful to Allah that these were the only things that were said. I know that some reverts have experienced far more worse experiences than I. But I understand her position. I just told her that I hope that overtime I can help her to better understand why I had chosen this path for myself. InshaAllah that will be the case.

To any converts or people who are thinking about coming into Islam and may be wondering how I managed to overcome my fear of telling my parents. My answer is this; we should not fear man, only our Creator. A brother told me these simple, but beautiful words, "If Allah brings you to it, Allah will bring you through it." How true. However, to any brothers or sisters who fear their lives through telling their parents, waiting for a better time where this threat is no longer present would be the best time to tell them. Until then, remain strong and make tons of duas and pray for Allah to make your situation easy. And remember this, the Companions of the Prophet (peace be upon him) were facing the same situation as you. And despite their hardships their situations were made easier, and they were rewarded for their commitment and dedication to Islam.

May Allah make the lives easier for those who fear backlash from their families for choosing Islam, and increase their strength and iman, Ameen.

- Aisha

Monday, August 16, 2010

Ramadan day #5 and 6

Assalamu alaikum,

Here in Ottawa last night there was a magnificent thunderstorm that woke me up moments before the time for fajr prayer. I lied in my bed in shear awe and fear of the power of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala). When the azan began I woke up to do dhikr and subhanAllah shortly after the azan ended the thunder and lightning ceased.

It is amazing the many signs that surround us everyday, each waking moment. Often times we go about our day forgetting and be neglectful of how clear it is of His existence.

In the evening, the moon was yellow and hung low in the sky almost as if it could simply sit on top one of the buildings that were visible through my apartment window. Two natural miracles made an impact on me today, but there are an infinite amount that are always there.

"He has made night and day subservient to you, and the Sun and Moon and stars, all subject to His command. There are certainly signs in that for people who use their intellect."
(Qur'an, 16:12)

May we always be aware of the countless signs from our Creator." Ameen

- Aisha


Storm over Israeli 'abuse' photos - Middle East - Al Jazeera English

Storm over Israeli 'abuse' photos - Middle East - Al Jazeera English

This is just sickens me. Its remarkable, how time, after time the world turns a blind eye to what is happening so openly and blatantly.

Oh Allah, please do not make us ignorant to the injustices of the world and help us to do our best in bettering the lives of those who are suffering. Please protect the oppressed and grant them justice, if not in this dunya then in the akira. Ameen

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Ramadan Day # 4

Assalaamu alaikum,

Alhumdulilah, yesterday was more of a test on resisting the desire to break fast. Yesterday at work we had to the university residence cafeteria with incoming first-year students. It felt awkward sitting with so many people eating! Not to mention some co-workers talking about how delicious the desserts were. I kept thinking to myself, "I hope the students don't think I am anorexic!" Despite the growling of my stomach, I reminded myself why I am not eating. Alhumdulilah, I was also given the opportunity to do dawah, when a co-worker asked me why I was fasting and she seemed to appreciate the reason. My manager had asked me if I was keeping a blog and I told her I would send it to her.

Later on in the day, I had met up with a non-Muslim friend who had asked me how fasting was going. I told her that it was going well and she had asked some questions which I attempted to answer, may Allah be pleased with my explanations. Unfortunately though, she seemed to not to understand somethings I had told her, especially concerning how I'd like to find a husband or even how I'd like to dress. I realize that some things are hard for non-Muslims to understand, but insha'Allah I will give beneficial explanations to help them understand.

The highlight of day #4 however, was going to the masjid for iftar! I went with the friend who had me over for iftar on the first day. It felt so amazing breaking fast with so many other people and then praying Maghrib with them. Insha'Allah I will be able to go again this month.

I really hope that everyone is having an amazing Ramadan :) May Allah keep us strong and mindful of our intentions, Ameen.

-Aisha

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Ramadan Day # 3

Assalaamu alaikum,

Hello everyone! I pray that everyone is having an amazing Ramadan thus far!

My apologies for not posting about day #3. Here it is!

Day # 3 was on Friday and I went to Jummah salat. Alhumdulilah it was beneficial to be praying side by side fellow Muslims especially since I was experiencing some frustration the day before. Unfortunately I missed a bit on the Khutbah, AstughfirAllah, but from what I did get the chance to listen to was very beautiful. The khatib spoke about our intentions and how they can drive our success. He referred to the Islamic Golden Age when Muslims were the best architects, engineers, medicinal practitioners, philosophers, etc while the Western world was experiencing the Dark Ages. The khatib ascribed their success due to their intentions to excel at such skills for the sake of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) when they saw that their communities were in need of such expertise. It made me think, that if I were to go to school for Allah's sake, if I were to help those in my community for Allah's sake I would have the extra drive and push to be the best that I could possibly be. The want to excel wouldn't be for my own personal status or gain in this dunya, but to be worthy of Allah's pleasure and insha'Allah a space in Jannah where I can meet my Lord.

To further establish the khatib's point he had referred to the youth amongst the Sahabas and made the remarkable argument that if these earlier followers of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) were told that they were too young where would our knowledge of Islam be? These are the individuals who were strong and held so much perserverance despite the great oppression that they faced. The khatib told a beautiful story about how he was talking to a class. He explained how he had to come up with a khutbah for the next Jummah salaat. At the end of his class a young girl approached him and handed him 3 pages of paper. He started reading what he was given, and realized it was a khutbah that was properly referenced with hadith and Al-Quran. He had asked the young sister, who wrote this? She replied, "I did." He told us that he had used her khutbah that Friday and there were many members of the congregation that were teary-eyed. SubhanAllah! The young girl was only 13 years-old. This story made me realize that there is nothing that can stop me from doing anything. Just as long as we keep our intentions pure insha'Allah we will have no barriers to do amazing things.

May Allah give us the strength to deflect the negative thoughts that prevent us from doing what we would like to do. And may we only do anything in the name and sake of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala). Ameen.

- Aisha

Terminology Used in this Post
For any non-Muslims who are reading this blog I thought it would help to explain some of the arabic words I'm using.

Assalaamu alaikum: May peace be upon you
Jummah salaat: the Friday prayer where Muslims gather together and pray. There is a sermon or Khutbah that is held before.
Alhumdulilah: All praise and thanks is due to Allah/God
Muslim: one who submits their will to God
Khutbah: sermon
AstaghfirAllah: Allah/God forgive me. Said when we make a mistake intentional/or unintentional
The khatib: one who gives the Khutbah/sermon
Subhana wa ta'ala: is said after saying "Allah" it means may He be gloried and exalted
Dunya: world, this world would refer to life before the Hereafter
Insha'Allah: God Willing
Jannah: Heaven
Sahabah: the companions of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him): the Last and Final Messenger/Prophet that God has sent to humanity.
Islam: literally means submission to God. The religion and way of life that Muslims adhere to
Hadith: is a compilation of sayings and actions of the Prophet (peace be upon him)
Al-Quran: Literally means the recitation. It is the Holy Book of Islam that was revealed by God to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). The first revelation was given to him in the month of Ramadan.
SubhanAllah: Glory to God


Friday, August 13, 2010

Ramadan Day #2

Assalamu alaikum,

Auzu billahi minash shaytan al rajeem. Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Day two was an eventful day! AstughfirAllah I had slept through suhoor, because I forgot to set my alarm, Alhumdulilah I didn't miss fajr so yesterday was slightly more difficult than the first.

Unlike the day before, I was at work and thus was surrounded by images of people drinking and eating. I admit it was hard when one of my co-workers were crunching on snow peas before going off to lunch, but by the grace of Allah I wasn't deterred from continuing my fast and eventually managed to ignore it.

One thing that was a bit difficult during fasting yesterday was remaining calm even when something would normally bother me. Instead of responding to a comment I had found offensive I simply went silent and tried to relieve myself of the frustration. The person had approached me realizing that I had become suddenly silent and apologized which was nice. Though admittedly as the day wore on, there was one incident that I had shown clear discontentment. May Allah forgive me for this.

Something interesting actually happened yesterday though. When I was leaving work, my sandal broke and it made it impossible to walk in my shoes. I literally was walking like a duck! I had gone into the bookstore on my university campus and asked for staples and tape. Ridiculous I know! But the thought of potentially walking barefoot was frightening to me, especially considering that I can be somewhat of a "germophobe!" Anyways, after many flimsy staples and pieces of scotchtape I left, walking less strangely as before to catch my bus.

While on the bus I had decided that my shoe would hang in there until I got home, but I was wrong, so very wrong. The staples and tape did not hold up and I decided to take off both of my shoes. Alhumdulilah! It was actually a liberating experience as well as a time to self-reflect. Even though I walked for only 10 minutes, I was given the opportunity to stop and think of the people, some who are our Muslim brothers and sisters, that don't have the simple luxury of protecting their feet. For the most part, there was not much poking or stabbing of my feet, except for when stepping on small pebbles. When crossing the road I was fearful that it would have been worse, but all thanks to Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) I made it through safely. I believe it was a type of spiritual experience that seemed to be accessed after the barrier which was my shoe was removed. Perhaps on day three you should try walking without shoes ha-ha!

Assalamu alaikum,

-Aisha

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Ramadan: Day # 1

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu and Ramadan Kareem!

I hope that everyone's first day of Ramadan was easy inshaAllah, although I have heard that it is usually the first day that it is the most difficult.

For me I believe it will be today (day # 2) that will break me in for the rest of the month InshaAllah. Yesterday, the hunger didn't really set in, but I believe that is because my mind was preoccupied with something else. In the evening I broke fast with a friend and her mother and they were very kind to me.

I actually have a video that may serve as a reminder to us on how to eat during suhoor as well as iftar. I can admit that I ate a big dinner and a large enough amount of food during suhoor, yet by filling ourselves up to the point that we want to burst seems to be against what the Prophet (peace be upon him) did. I hope you enjoy this video, keep in mind that this person from what I gather isn't a sheikh so its always best to find a better source.

InshaAllah that you will receive this well and may Allah bestow us Muslims with the ability to observe our fast sincerely, Ameen.

- Aisha

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Night before Ramadan

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu brothers and sisters!

As mentioned in my previous post I said that I would try to blog everyday throughout Ramadan inshaAllah. However, I thought it would be nice to share with you the thoughts and feelings that are floating within me the evening before the first day!

I am so very excited for Ramadan! But to be honest, I was worrying about not being able to reap the benefits of this blessed month. But Alhumdulilah, through the grace of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) I am more confident about what is to come.

This month, I am looking forward to fasting and breaking fast with the beautiful souls I have met since reverting to Islam. I hope to learn more about Islam and be constantly breathing this amazing deen.

I pray that we all reap the benefits from this Holy Month, be forgiven for our sins, and reach new spiritual heights!

Ameen

-Aisha

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Ramadan is Almost Here!

Assalamu alaikum!

Ramadan is quickly approaching and I am both excited and nervous! This year will be my first time fasting and insha'Allah I will be able to reap the many benefits of this Holy month.

I plan to fast everyday insha'Allah, but some of my friends have recommended that I do the best that I can but not to worry if I need to take a break. I am going to try my best to do as much as I can though.

For the month, I'm thinking of blogging everyday insha'Allah about my experiences fasting for the first time. If you are reading, maybe you would like to do the same? Just an idea.

I pray that everyone has a wonderful Ramadan that will help us to become closer to this wonderful deen.

Salaam,

Aisha